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And I was saying no and James put his hands over my mouth and Derek came on top of me and was grabbing me and touching me everywhere and I was so scared.

And James was saying that I was gonna learn to stop being a bitch and that I was gonna learn my place and Derek was saying how we were gonna have such a good time and they started pulling my clothes and things and I was saying no and trying so hard to escape but James hit me and was telling me to shut up and I was crying an begging him to stop but they both just kept going and they took turns until they came and I came when during Derek's turn and I didn't mean to and I didn't like it at all and I feel so dirty.

When they finished they told me to go wash up and James said that if I said anything about it to my dad then he would do something else to me but he wouldn't be so merciful as he was claiming to be.

And Derek went home afterwards and saud he looks forward to doing it again. And I was in the bath for an hour but couldnt scrub the dirtiness off of me and I just don't know what to do.

I can't tell anyone anything and I'm scared that James will do something like this again and I don't know what to do. Please help me. My dad and I went to church this afternoon for his evening service bc he is our head pastor and we had a dinner service afterwards.

We have our own designated spot to sit because were the pastors family. But my step mom didnt come today cuz she had a shift at work and my stepbrother never wants to come.

So we were sitting away from everyone alone and I thought that this was my only chance to tell him, i just didn't know how to start the conversation.

But one if the mothers of NY church called him over and it gave me the cha ce to say something. So I got my phone out and pulled up this post and showed it to him when he say back down and I was in tears at that point and he said plainly, get up we're going.

So he said goodbye to everyone and asked them to pray for us and we left straight for home. James and my step mom were sitting watching TV and my walked in and was livid.

He immediately was screaming asking if he had violated me and what had he done and all that and do you know what the loser had to say?

He said that I tried o seduce him and that I was always fantasizing about him and that I was forcing myself on him which is so untrue.

And his mom then lost it screaming what had he done and that she was so disappointed in him and I was silently crying the whole time.

My dad didn't even care that I liked this boy and had thought about him this way either, and he had me screenshot this and send it to him and my dad called the police and my step mom bought me to the doctors office for testing and all that and they don't know anything.

And at the police station, they were questioning me and they took James in and Derek showed up in handcuffs and they're both being questioned. I was telling them what happened and I started crying again and I felt dumb cuz I can't stop crying and they were just asking me what I've already had to say 2 times and its just so hard.

They went back to my house to get my clothes, which I wore yesterday and they tore my shorts and T-shirt and they were taking pictures of my body, my sides where they were hitting me and my face where Im starting to get a really dark bruise where James hit me.

And Derek's family cane over to us and was apologizing and the police were saying how they think they have enough evidence to arrest him but if not, then I have to leave and stay at someone else's house so my dad and I might be getting a hotel.

But they said my dad and I could leave but he wouldn't leave my step mom, who is distraught, and was crying the whole time. So we all left together to go back home, and my step mom called James dad who apparently lives in the state and is on his way.

And I was just sitting in the tub again, crying and trying to wash it off but its not working and I just hope that they keep then away from me forever.

You refuse to change your behavior. Even if your spouse says "I forgive you," what your relationship looks like in the future will depend on your actions going forward more than your words.

You must change the behavior that wounded your spouse. It doesn't matter whether you think it's fair or not.

You won't do it perfectly, but your spouse will need to see you changing. And this is where you need God's forgiveness and transforming power more than anything else.

Does this sound impossible? Humanly speaking, it is. That's why the only ones who can truly receive or offer forgiveness are those who have embraced the overwhelming gift of God's forgiveness of them.

Your turn: How have you made it harder for your spouse to forgive you for the hurts you've caused? What are you going to do about it? Leave a comment below.

As an author and speaker, she loves helping people discover the Fully Alive kind of life Jesus came to bring us.

Visit her website at drcarolministries. This article originally appeared at drcarolministries. Great Resources to help you excel in ! Prayer helps you overcome anything life throws at you.

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This includes fequently linking to your site at the end your comments. I got the number of my boyfriend from one of my friend who is close friend of my boyfriend too.

But I dint reveal the fact that there is a common friend between him and me as well. Hes not talking to me as I hide this from him.

Hes not replying to my messages nor taking my calls. He doesn't forgive easily. See more questions like this: How can I ask my wife for money.

When you are trying to start a relationship long distance it can seem like a broken promise if you can't come to see him. Since your mother can't afford to visit your family there then perhaps you should suggest that he comes to see you.

This may have been too much work to keep his interest though so be prepared if he just ghosts you and you do not hear from him again.

It appears that he has begun distancing himself emotionally from you. Message him frequently even if he does not respond back.

I have a guy friend whom my boyfriend hates because of some lewd comments he made to me once or twice. I tried to take it lightly but my boyfriend wouldn't so he made me block him.

I thought he really didn't care anymore to even stop me. I mostly talked about my boyfriend the entire time I was with him.

I needed some guy perspective. I tried apologizing, crying, said I'd die without him, everything. When I cried, he said he needed some time to get okay.

I said fine. I would give him time but he is getting angrier and more distant everyday it seems. I really love him. I would never repeat this kind of mistake ever.

I told him that. I have tried: I tried apologizing profusely, a close friend of mine talked to him. I think it was caused by: He left his hometown to attend college at my town so that he could be with me.

I feel he somehow resents what he did for this relationship, especially when we fight. Men do not like it when they are being constantly forced to do things they are not yet ready to do.

Therefore, if you keep on pushing your boyfriend to forgive you, the more his resentment towards you will grow. Give him the space he needs to reflect about the situation.

Allow him to come to a resolution on his own. In the meantime, while he is taking his time off from you, keep yourself busy in making yourself better.

When you boyfriend sees the positive changes in you, the more he will be motivated to forgive you and love you again. This process certainly takes a lot of time.

Communication skills are vital for a healthy relationship. In order to have your boyfriend's forgiveness, you may have to swallow all of your angst and apologize for the argument.

This is not an easy thing to do but there needs to be an open dialogue between the both of you. Write him a letter expressing your regrets for the argument and list all the reasons that make him important in your life.

Leave this letter where he will find it like on the windshield of his car before he comes out of work but do not be there.

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